Can you trigger your woman's primal urges and reignite your sex life!
Yes, you can trigger your woman's primal urges and reignite your sex life!
Apply the science of lust and love to bring back the sexy, exciting woman you first met.
Your woman is driven by urges that evolved when people first came down from the trees to walk upright, when we communicate in grunts and gestures. That's why, when your sex life fizzles, talking about it and trying to figure out solutions doesn't work.
In this article, you'll learn the three steps to awakening her inner Cave Woman the one whose fiery desire for you seems as natural as breathing or sleeping.
Here's what you need to know and what the Caveman knew:
- The more she loves you, the less she may want you.
- You CAN reset her sexual clock to the sexual intensity of when you met.
There are three misunderstood ingredients in her lust and love chemical cocktail. You need to know about them.
Let's get started with shaking up her brain chemistry to make her hot for you again!
Three Steps to Primal Lust
There are just three simple steps you need to take to awaken her inner Cave Woman:
- Become the master of her love and sex chemistry. Come to terms with how very different it is from yours.
- Reset her brain chemistry back to the way it was when you first got together.
- Learn to synch up with the natural cycles in lust, love and connection.
Step 1. Become the Master of Her Sex and Love Chemistry
You've heard of the biological clock that makes women want to have children before it's too late. There's another setting on her biological clock, one that tells her that the time for intense, all-the-time turn-on and hours of lovemaking is over.
Lust is the drive for sex - the desire for basic copulation. Love is the need for attachment, the desire to bond with a mate and, perhaps, children.
These two drives are socially complementary, causing us to come together in families. But when it comes to your sex life, they are at odds.
Her Prehistoric Brain
To understand what's going on with her body and her sexual brain, let's go back to the life of the Cave Man and Cave Woman.
Three brain chemicals ruled her mating instincts:
- Testosterone: The chemical of lust drives to have sex and propagate her species.
- Dopamine: The chemical of reward actually peaks before we get the reward. It's triggered by novelty.
- Oxytocin: The chemical of trust and bonding helps us identify friend from foe.
Our primitive woman, and she is no different from a modern woman, needed a big jolt of testosterone to make her horny enough to risk her life on getting pregnant with a man.
But things were very dangerous. Cave Woman was taking a huge risk when she got pregnant. So many things could go wrong, from not being able to run away from animal or human attacks to a debilitating miscarriage. It was definitely not in her best interest to copulate randomly or to have more than one partner. She also needed that feeling of safety and security she gets from the oxytocin bond.
Once she mated, childbearing was an even bigger risk for Cave Woman. Human babies take a long time to gestate and a long time to grow up enough to run around. Nature needed the mother to be able to stay still in her last months of pregnancy and to be willing to stuck around and nurse the resulting bundle of squall.
A woman's stronger response to oxytocin, combined with the extra amounts flowing through her veins after childbirth, turned her attention toward her baby and away from her mate.
Oxytocin: The Enemy of Lust
Oxytocin is the chemical of love and bonding, in addition to the chemical that starts the labor process. It is also the chemical that creates that wonderful floaty feeling after orgasm when you are lying there together so fulfilled and at peace, that's the work of oxytocin.
At orgasm, both a man and a woman get a huge rush of oxytocin. It makes them feel bonded to each other and it also calms them down after all that lovemaking.
This is very important: Oxytocin is the brain chemical that makes your woman love you but it IS NOT the chemical that makes her want you sexually.
Oxytocin is the chemical of sexual satisfaction NOT the chemical of lust and arousal
In other words, the more your woman is bonded to you, the less likely it is she wants to have sex with you. This is crazy, right? After you've done everything to make her feel secure in your relationship and let her know that you really love her, her brain's response is to turn off her sex drive.
Next, you are going to learn how to fool her primitive brain into believing it's time to begin making all over again.
Step 2. Reset Her Brain Chemistry
You CAN reset her biological clock to the early days of sexual intensity with you.
Now that you understand where you woman is coming from the dark ages of our ancestry all you have to do is recreate those factors that made Cave Woman cling to Caveman:
Protect Her from "Danger"
The last thing your woman may say she wants from you is protection. "I can take care of myself," she insists. "I'm as competent as you are."
That's probably true in many respects, but that attitude can actually make her less attracted to you. You need to find ways in your everyday modern life to play the protector role.
Here's the secret: Protect her from the things SHE WANTS to be protected from not the things YOU want to protect her from.
The Cave Man and Cave Woman had clearly defined roles. He was the hunter, she was the gatherer. He went out, she stayed close to home. In this modern world, all roles are up for negotiation. But you can be sure that there are some things your woman would much rather you take care of.
These may be traditionally manly things, like taking out the garbage or paying the bills, but they may not.
How can you define your protector role? Two ways:
Ask her. "Sweetie, would you like me to take care of that for you?" will get you plenty of points even if the answer is no.
Listen. When she's moaning about something she can't or won't get done, this is your cue. Of course, you have to be capable of and willing to follow through.
Bonus: When you play the protector role, you're invoking the power of vasopressin, an important chemical in a man's bond with his woman. Vasopressin and testosterone are linked, each boosting the effects of the other. Together, they make a man more aggressive, more protective and more vigilant.
Science has found that, while our brain chemicals influence behaviour, our behaviour also influences our brain chemicals. If you're sad but you laugh, your laughter actually changes your brain chemistry to put you in a better mood.
So, when you play the protector role, you may be increasing your testosterone, making yourself more sexy to your woman.
To get more ideas about how to move into the protector role without being overbearing or controlling go to alphamaleacdemy.online
Bring Back the Novelty
To strengthen the gene pool, Nature wanted Cave Woman to look for a mate outside her family group. So she made novelty highly rewarding. Remember that dopamine is the brain chemical of reward, and it's highest when we are going after a reward. It's the most intoxicating chemical in your woman's lust and love cocktail.
At this point in your marriage, her primitive brain knows that you are "family." Her mate seeking instincts are turned off, so her body "thinks" that it doesn't "need" lust any more.
She's seeking the reward of novelty in other areas of her life: kids, career, remodelling, shopping. It's time to reinvent yourself as a new thing in her life worth paying attention to.
Try these tricks:
Step out of your own skin. Learn a new skill, study a foreign language or take up a sport. The idea is to pick something that takes you out of the house and away from your relationship. This will not only make you seem different and interesting to your mate, it will also increase your own dopamine levels, making you a sexier, more attractive person.
Explore edges together. Are there things you've always talked about trying but haven't yet? Now is the time. If not, this is a good opportunity to play the Bringer of Gifts role by finding exciting new things to try. If your sex life is in the doldrums, don't try to increase novelty in the bedroom yet. Wait until her dopamine levels are up and then extend the exploration into your sex.
Scare her a little. Danger, excitement and desire are linked together by dopamine. Do things that are a little risky together. Carnivals and roller coasters are sexy because of the heightened stimulation from all the noise and colors and lights, and especially because of the controlled danger. Your brain knows you're not going to be flung off into space, but your body still responds with arousal.
Social danger is another thrill that raises dopamine along with your own testosterone and vasopressin. When it's you two against the world, your bodies become attuned in a heightened state of arousal. Work for a cause you believe in, take an improvisation class together, or go to Toastmasters. Anything that gets both of you out of your comfort zones will make you more exciting to each other.
Increase Your Polarity (Me, Caveman!)
When you entered puberty, your body began pumping out testosterone. The hormonal and physical growth spurt sent your body firmly in the male direction. While all that was growing muscle and body hair, it was also shaping your brain development.
When she entered puberty, your woman's body and brain developed in the opposite direction, thanks to a surge of estrogens.
Post puberty, your brains are as different as your bodies. You can't see those differences, but they are there and they're the reason the sexes are so mystifying to each other. But they are also the reason men and women are so attracted to each other.
For the last half of the 20th century, society has downplayed those differences with the aim of creating more opportunities for women.
This is a great thing for society. But for your sex life, it sucks. Sexual attraction is driven by opposites. She's attracted to you as a man, with all that means. And remember, she is playing with a hand of biological cards that were dealt eons ago, when brawn mattered more than brains and a woman needed a man to take care of the hard stuff.
She may expect you to help out around the house because she's tired from her own job and you should. But equality in the workplace and at home equals a lack of polarity in the bedroom. And that's the recipe for boring sex or no sex at all.
Polarity is the concept of opposites and their attraction. There are two ways to increase the polarity in your relationship:
Step into your own masculine persona and encourage her to express her femininity.
Playing the protector role we discussed is one firm step in that direction. When you let her offload tasks to you, you are expanding your role and differentiating yourself as the person who can get hard things done.
Another way to increase polarity in your relationship is to become the bringer of gifts. Not just flowers and jewellery those might be appealing gifts to some women, but to emphasize your masculine role, you should be delivering emotional and experiential gifts that make her life fuller and more exciting.
Step 3. Surf the Waves of Her Sex Chemistry
Timing is everything.
Let's review the chemicals of lust and sexual excitement: Testosterone increases the sex drive, and dopamine is the pleasure seeking chemical.
In your woman's body, testosterone is balanced by estrogen. And estrogen enhances the calm and cuddly effects of oxytocin, while testosterone mutes them.
If your woman is ovulating, her hormone levels follow a predictable path, month after month. At the beginning of her cycle, after menstruation is finished, her estrogen level gradually rises. Interestingly, so does her level of testosterone. There's enough testosterone coursing through her brain to counteract the oxytocin.
Estrogen and testosterone peak near the end of the second week, or halfway through her cycle. She will be most sexually charged in the second week of her cycle, so this is the best time to start your Cave Man tactics.
In the third and fourth weeks, her hormone levels begin to drop. She may be moody, tired or depressed. Definitely NOT in the best mood to respond to you.
If your woman is no longer ovulating, her body still will go through this hormonal cycle, but she will have less of each hormone. (Some women seem to get more sexy after menopause, because their testosterone doesn't ebb as quickly as the estrogen.)
You may need to try a little harder to identify your midlife woman's monthly cycle of moods and sex drive, but it's worth it. Look for recurring patterns of crankiness or sweetness, lazing around or being super charged. Once you become attuned to her cycles, you can plan your drive revival for the times when she's on the upswing
There are also natural cycles in the relationship between a man and a woman.
You're probably reading this because your sexual relationship is at a low point. If that's the case, remember that Nature designed things this way so that a couple could successfully raise children.
Her waning of sexual interest isn't because you are not desirable any more. It's just basic biology biology that made sense for the Cave Man and Cave Woman.
Congratulations! You're taking action to move your woman's sex and love cycle into what could be the highest peak in her life.
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