Here are some brilliant tips to make your task of asking your crush out less jittery and more effortless.
If you’re the kind who feels intimidated and awkward around members of the opposite sex, especially a special someone you’ve been crushing on forever, fret not. Take solace in the fact that you aren’t alone. There are plenty of people in the world who develop cold feet when it comes to approaching their crush for a date. You are obviously anxious about being rejected or worse (don’t know which is worse for you, though) being laughed at. However, keep in mind a very basic principle that people always fail to realize. When you ask, you have some chance (even it is a tiny percentage) of success. By not asking, you are converting that small percentage of success into 0% success. You have to bear your heart and put yourself in the line of fire to get what you really want in life.
Be the Ultimate Dating Champ with These ‘Approach Your Crush’ Tips
Prepare yourself mate. Don’t just go there and blabber something incomprehensible to your poor, stunning date. Practice well before approaching them be- cause scary as it sounds, you may not get another chance to woo them. Practice saying something passionate yet honest in front of the mirror to know how you look and feel while saying it. See how your eyes look and pay close attention to your expressions.
Think carefully before you speak. Tide over a compelling feeling of nervousness before striking a conversation with your crush. Take a few minutes to think about what and how you’re going to approach them rather than thrusting yourself on their face like a bolt of lightning and talking rubbish. If the person is really important to you, it’s worth it to take some time and then make a powerful first impression. Spontaneity is good, foolishness is not. Strike a fine balance between sounding like a well-rehearsed parrot and a totally unprepared clown.
Get to know them better. Your chances of success in asking your crush out for a date can be higher when you get to know them better. If you can, notice what they generally eat or what sport they’re actively involved in or which team they support, or even their favorite color. These details will give you great ground for a later conversation. Something like, “You always carry these notebooks with iconic 90’s movies. Is there a favorite you particularly enjoyed from that period?” See what you did? You were not in your face, but you kick-started a discussion that can open up so many conversational topics to cautiously test the waters.
Being independent of the outcome will increase your confidence. This has several advantages, though it’s easier said than done. It simply means you go into the scene of action without caring about the outcome. This will help you approach your data with greater confidence and cope with rejection more effectively. Try to think of it this way. Rejection simply means you’re trying. And not getting rejected means you aren’t trying enough. This approach will also allow you to enjoy a healthier camaraderie with your crush, irrespective of the outcome. Crushes aren’t superheroes and your world doesn’t crash if they reject you. They are special yes, but they are normal human beings.
Set the ground. When you come across your crush walking along alone, don’t just grab the first opportunity to launch into verbal diarrhea about how much you adore them. Instead, use the opportunity to break the ice by just saying hi, and offering a warm and genuine smile if you don’t know him/her too well. Next time you bump into them, strike when the iron is hot, and launch a conversation.
Your body language conveys things that remain unsaid. We’ve discussed earlier how body language can be a far more potent channel for communication than any verbal communication. Irrespective of what you say, if your body language is not in rhythm with what you are speaking, people immediately notice it. Make eye contact throughout the conversation. Smile. Face them directly. Don’t fold your arms or play with your hands/fingers. Keep your posture erect and the shoulders slightly tucked out. Lean a little forward when you’re having a conversation to show you’re genuinely interested in what they are saying.
Introduce yourself impressively. Don’t get nervous and tongue-tied while introducing yourself. Emphasize your name and say it clearly without stammering /stuttering (unless you have a genuine speech condition) or sounding awkward. The way you introduce yourself speaks volumes about your confidence and self-worth. It is a reflection of how you view yourself. Keep the tone of your voice friendly yet self-assured.
Do yourself a favor and avoid pick-up lines like the plague. Avoid using cheesy and hackneyed pickup lines that will have your crush scurrying in another direction unless you have something really smart and innovative to say. Nothing spells creep like an overused pickup line that’s made only ‘pick people up’ so to speak.
Be yourself. As often as this is repeated, people still fail to understand its importance. You’re definitely not setting the right ground for any budding relationship if it’s based on a pretentious premise of who you really aren’t. Keep your talk genuine, real, and personal. Don’t pretend to be someone you clearly aren’t. Know the fact that you are amazing as you are, and let that awesomeness reflect in your conversation. If a person doesn’t like you for who you truly are, ask yourself if it’s an association worth pursuing.
Don’t exaggerate or embellish while talking. Avoid overstating things just to find favor with your crush. They’ll find us sooner or later and then all hell will break loose. If your crush says, he/she enjoys playing a sport, avoid declaring you have a keen interest in the game too when you don’t. Their opinion of you will plummet once they discover the truth. You can be graceful and simply state that though you haven’t had a chance to play it; you’d really love to give it a try. This way you’re not dismissing it yet not actively professing to be a champ in it. You will come across as more genuine.
Break bad habits. If you have an overwhelmingly bad habit that keeps coming across when talking to your crush, you’re at a huge disadvantage. Avoid cursing repetitively, calling everyone a fool, and talking non-stop about how wonderful you are as a person. Try and keep the conversation clean, neutral, and positive. If being yourself means being ugly in your conversations, you might want to change yourself first.
Don’t act overly formal and scare them away. If you talk about taking them on a formal or elaborate date, chances are they’ll break into a cold sweat. Rather, make it a friendly outing where you can head to your nearest burger joint in jeans. It should be a more casual, friendly, and informal outing, like two friends getting to know each other, not a proper formal date, unless your crush wants it that way. There will be lesser pressure and a more relaxed atmosphere to break the ice.
Come to the point. After devoting enough occasions for small and ice, breakers, just go for the kill by asking direct. Don’t sound phony and cheesy. Just appear confident, genuine, and friendly, and don’t try too hard. Simply ask them out for something harmless like a coffee, to begin with. Also, when you ask, be prepared to take no for answer. They may not have the same feelings as you do for them, and that’s perfectly fine.
Handle rejection with grace. Don’t throw tantrums or cry or walk off and create a scene. Appear strong and graceful when your crush rejects your request. Thank them graciously for considering it. For all you know, they might be impressed with your reaction or may just be testing you to check what you’re really made of. They could be buying time and accessing you. Show your courageous side, know your self-worth, and walk away gracefully. You never know, you might just change their mind with your reaction. On the other hand, acting like a drama queen/king will convince them about how their decision to reject you was spot on. Avoid asking why they made the decision they did. You’re only digging for more dirt.
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