I often get asked ‘ How can I make more impact in my interactions with women?” by my students. There are hundreds of ways to achieve this, but for this article, I have broken it down to 10 of the most effective and RAPID ways that YOU can use in order to achieve this objective. Enjoy.
10 RAPID ways to get a woman interested in you.
1. Break patterns!
Doing the unexpected does not mean having to do something weird or strange or out of character. Subtly breaking patterns in a conversation forces the woman out of her “autopilot mode’ and as a result, it creates an important hairline shift in her perception of you.
Here are a few effective ways of breaking patterns in an interaction with a woman you want.
- When she tells you what she does for a living DO NOT respond with the usual and predictable following responses
- “Do you like it?”
- “How did you get into that?”
- “Who do you work for/where do you work?”
- “How long have you been doing that for?”
Instead, try and use the following more effective response:
- “Is that something you wanted to do since you were very young”?
- “Really? So tell me what characteristics do you need in order to be good at your job?”
- “If you had zero chance of a failure, what would you like to do most in the world?”
All these alternative answers will create an important hairline shift in her perception of you and will force her to snap out of her auto-response mode.
- When she tells you her favorite pass time, instead of nodding your head and replying with the predictable “cool” reply.
- Challenger her and ask her why she does not make her passion her job? How can she have such a strong passion/hobby and not make it her life?
- Women always respond well to this.
- Breaking patterns is a rapid way to create an impact on a woman and can start you on the road of making a deep connection with her.
2. Break Rapport.
Breaking rapport whilst your talking to a hot woman might sound like the last thing you want to do but in fact, it's one of the most POWERFUL things you can do!
Breaking rapport gives the sensation that the girl cannot KEEP you and that you could literally slip through her fingers at any given moment! This excites women, as it heightens the challenge that you present to them! The challenge is that she has to WORK in order to keep you happy and to stay with her!
List of 81 Ways to Break Rapport
- Playfully push her away.
- Turn your back to her.
- Have your eyes wander away as if you become lost in thought.
- Have her do something that makes her look silly without her realizing it until it's too late.
- Do something childish like the point at her shirt and flick her nose when she looks down.
- Pick her up off the ground
- While dancing with her stop and dance alone for a second and then pull her back in.
- Remove your presence.
- Playfully kick, punch, or flick her.
- Dog Jaw Routine: Tell her you to have “dog jaw” and to feel your jaw because it clicks. When she touches you snap your head and bark loudly, scaring her
- Stop speaking and just stare at her for a second.
- Touch her with something cold.
- Play thumb war.
- Tell her you to want to show her a cool pose. Step by step have her put one hand on her waist, the other hand as if holding a tray to the side and stand on one foot. Then say, “Now say ‘I'm a little teapot.’”
- If she yawns put your finger in her mouth.
- Give her a stupid nickname, i.e. blondie, shorty, sparkles, etc.
- Loudly say, "No, I will not make out with you."
- Notice and mention something dorky or embarrassing about her.
- Act like you’re trying to hide or keep a low profile while walking with her. When she asks you why say, "Sorry, I have a reputation to keep."
- Find something funny or nerdy to label her as or continually point out.
- Introduce her in a funny way. "This is Samantha...I can't get rid of her for some reason."
- Tell her if she doesn't start behaving you'll put her on timeout.
- Mimic her in a funny way
- Call her a dork, loser, or nerd.
- Tell her she is "over the hill" if she's young.
- If she whines or complains about something just look at her with a sad face and play a mini violin or make a tear gesture with your finger.
- Ask her which sentence is correct, “The yolk of the egg is white,” or “The yolk of the egg are white.” When she answers explain that the yolk of the egg is yellow.
- If she says you’re stupid/ugly/dorky/gay, whatever...say “Your FACE is [stupid/ugly/dorky/gay, etc.]”
- If a girl teases you just look at her unimpressed and say, “weak.”
- After you just teased a girl look at her and say “Annnnd, you're done.”
- Saying you like physical attribute or character trait [X] when she has [Y]. For example, say you really like brunettes when speaking to a blonde.
- Tell her to get out of your "bubble” (personal space).
- Say she would be a really cool friend.
- Tell her it sucks you had to meet her in a club/bar.
- Mention the word girlfriend.
- Say she seems like a good girl and you don't want to corrupt her.
- Have her see you talk to another girl
- If you have to do something with her say, "Awww...I'm stuck with you?"
- Say, "OMG we'll NEVER get along...we're just way too similar."
- Tell her you can help her find a nice guy
- Tell her she is the kind of girl you can only handle in small doses.
- If you get blown out say, “Listen, hun, you need to lower your standards the way I just did.”
- Say “no.”
- After she says she likes something say that you don't (explain why).
- After she says she dislikes something say that you do like it (explain why).
- Say, “I bet you can't dance” (or whatever activity is going on).
- Say, "I hope you're joking."
- Have a friendly debate on something.
- After she says or does something that can be misinterpreted as awkward or silly say, "Wow..." and make a face like she's weird.
- Cancel a plan you made.
- Tell her she's "fired" if she does something poorly.
- Tell her she's being rude about something and correct her behavior in some way.
- After she asks you to do something look at her blankly and ask why.
- If she says something you don’t like just respond with, “You’re cut.”
- Make your body language and tonality be in agreement but have your words be in disagreement. ex, Smile and nod your head in agreement but then casually say, “Yeah, that is awful.”
- If a girl tells you you're going to come to [X] place then say, "Well first we're going to [Y]."
- If a girl asks you to buy her a drink say "Tell you what, you get this round and I'll get the next."
- If a girl asks you to buy her a drink say "I don't buy random girls drinks. How about we get to know each other a little and take it from there."
- Interrupt her when she is speaking.
- Take a sip of her drink without asking.
- Observe something negative and point it out, i.e. “You kind of mumble a lot.”
- Spontaneously decide to move her around the venue or isolate her.
- Check a text message during your interaction.
- Ask for some form of compliance, such as for her to hold your drink.
- If she's not paying attention or dozes out point to your eyes and tell her to focus.
- Make a big deal about a simple compliance task she gives you and then wink and do it like it's no big deal.
- If she's not complying say, “Come on, don't be gay.”
- If a girl says something not interesting or not helpful in then say “That's amazing!” then immediately change topic
- Say, “OMG, stop undressing me with your eyes.”
- When your arms are wrapped around her either from behind or front randomly bite or kiss her neck.
- “I don't even want to know what dirty thoughts are going through your mind right now.”
- “You have really sexy eyes.”
- In a deep, sexy voice say, “You have no idea what you’re doing to me right now.”
- Interrupt her with some form of sexual escalation like a kiss.
- Use a strong kino jump, such as slapping her ass.
- Turning the topic of conversation to sex.
- Say, "You know, you smell REALLY good."
- Drop game and being honest with your intent. For example, after an opener says, "OK, honestly, I just wanted to come and meet you because I really like your look."
- Say, "I can tell you like me." When she asks how you can tell slide a finger between her legs and say
- "Because you're wet." Then smirk while keeping a sexual frame. ADVANCED!!!
- While walking next to her make an obvious gesture of checking out her ass
3. Use double sided compliments!
So what is a double-sided compliment?
“A double-sided compliment is giving the girl a vague compliment, and then adding to it a DETAILED sentence that will translate as: “but there is room for improvement “ or “but I have seen better” without, of course actually using those words”.
“You look great. But if you made your hair a darker/blonder color then you would be very hot”
“You dress really well, but if you wore something a little more tight/elegant/
shorter, then you would be ‘WOW’”
Here, you are telling her she looks good, but if she took your advice then she could look HOT or SEXY. Or even more appealing than she does already.
It's important to begin the double-sided compliment, with a vague compliment, so as it will not come across as an insult. If you just told her to alter her appearance to look better, then she might very well react defensively or aggressively.
With the first part of the double-sided compliment, you are making it clear you find her attractive
Here are some tried and tested double-sided compliments
“mmm, that’s a nice perfume, let m smell it properly” leans into her neck.
“It's nice, but I used to know a girl that wore “Coco Chanel” (insert preferred perfume) and it was so sexy, every man would look around when they smelled her come in the room”
“You are an attractive woman, but if you emphasized your eyes/lips more then you would look so fucking hot ”
“ I like the way you dress, it's very cute, but if you wore something more elegant like a long backless black dress then you would be much sexier”
“Let me see your shoes..” Holds leg up to inspect shoes. “They are nice, but if you wore some strappy killer heels you would be so hot”
There is literally an endless amount of double-sided compliments you can use, and it can always change depending on the woman’s look or style.
Go and use them as soon as possible, and eradicate the dreaded “thanks” response forever.
Save the outright compliment (which means no “but” or “If “ following the compliment) when you are firmly in the seduction zone. This will act as a reward and plus she will appreciate it and believe its sincerity far more than if you had used it whilst in the comfort zone.
4. Approach women in the daytime!
This will obviously, automatically create immediate impact, simply because men do not usually approach women in the daylight hours. Yet the coffee shops, parks, shops, public transport, and the busy high streets are full of single women! But the problem here is that a lot of men DO NOT know how to approach a girl in the ‘day time’ and consequently they come across as nervous and UNITENTIONLY creepy.
There is a lot of material out there that explains how to approach women in the day time and get a result, but, here is my shortened take on how to achieve maximum results the next time you go out and chat up a woman in the daylight hours.
- Try and use a direct opener
- A direct opener means stating your intention straight away. I.e.
“I think you look beautiful” or, “ I think you have incredible dress sense” or “I really like the way you carry yourself, it’s very elegant”
There are just a few examples of hundreds of direct opening lines that you can choose to use.
- When you approach her, do not begin with the dreaded line
“I was just over there watching you and..”
This conveys the fact that you are some guy sneaking around and watching her from behind the shadows, and it also makes it seem as if you have too much time on your hands.
- Your first words should be
“This is really random, but..”
Always use a FALSE TIME CONSTRAINT.
A false time constraint shows the girl that you have a limited amount of time to get to know her.
Makeup something such as this:
“It would be cool to get to know you a bit, but unfortunately I only have 5 minutes because I have some friends I need to meet”
How and why will this help you? Think about it.
Let’s say the woman likes your approach and thinks your kind of cute/cool etc, but is apprehensive about having to talk to you for too long in case she finds out that doesn’t actually like you that much if you don’t use a false time constraint she will probably just say she’s too busy to chat to you, simply because she does not want to be in a predicament whereby you might be hanging around her for too long.
It also conveys the fact that you are busy, and are not in the habit of hanging around streets or bookshops hitting on unsuspecting women.
- If an uncomfortable pause arises after the opener, which can often happen even if the girl has accepted your offer of talking to you for 5 or 10 minutes, DO NOT do what most guys do and ask her what her name is or where she works or what she’s up to. This will only result in causing an uncomfortable LULL in the interaction.
Because your approach is full of energy, you need to keep up the excitement/momentum VERBALLY.
So Instead of asking a series of mundane questions, and deflating the initial energy, choose to make an impact, and say this:
“You know what, this so random... I tell you what, I’m going to say 3 things about myself and then you have to say 3 things about yourself, but they have to be an interesting deal?”
You go on and tell her three things (have these three things planned) and try to make sure that one is about your past; one is about your present and one about your
future. This will ALWAYS make a great impact on the girl, and in response, she will give you some interesting information about herself. This will get the conversation going in full swing, and give you enough conversation material to last for ages.
5. TALK ABOUT EACH OTHERS PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE
As I mentioned in the previous point, talking about each other’s past and future (as well as present) can always add some vital verbal impact to what can always potentially be a dull interaction that leads nowhere.
By getting the girl to talk about memories and her future plans and desires as well as what she is thinking and/or doing in the present will not only bring an impact into the conversation but it will also get her to start EMOTIONALLY INVEST in you.
Think about it. How many guys get her to reveal memories and desires so rapidly? She will link emotional states (that you will have purposefully put her in) with you!
As with any type of investment whether it be money, time or emotions, we always want to see that investment again and again!
Remember to use STRONG emotional words, rather than bland words such as “nice” or “cool”, as this will help to get her instantly anchoring emotions to those words. (As strong/emotional descriptions and words make more impact)
Use future projections, such as “I can just imagine us choosing a pet, you would probably pick a cat and I will want a dog, and in the end, we will get a hamster or a rat”
This is a simple and light-hearted way to start using the ‘future projection’ routine. From there it can go on to something a little more meaningful.
Note: If you decide to tell her about a memory of yours that is sad (whether true or not) make sure that you don’t start overplaying it, in which I mean, DO NOT come across as vulnerable and in need of sympathy. Vulnerability is a skill women use to attract men, but this skill does not work the other way round!
6. PROVOKE JEALOUSY
WHAT??????? I hear you shout. Surely this would ruin any chance you have of getting that woman back in your bed!? This would go against the single piece of advice all the women in your life have given you so far right?
When I say ‘provoke jealousy’, that does not mean you should stand there with your tongue hanging out whenever the next blonde walks past you or that you should go and chat with other women in front of the girl you like.
My advice is to provoke MILD yet EFFECTIVE jealousy in a woman, but you must do it VERY surreptitiously. If done correctly you can heat up her desire for you which will help you transition the interaction away from the comfort stage and on to the sexual stage.
How do you do this? How do you provoke just the right amount of jealousy in a woman without going too far?
Simple. The rule is not to make her jealous towards other women in the club, but instead, make her jealous towards the other women in your life (past and present).
Bring in a story or two or three about maybe an ex-girlfriend or female friend or recent sexual conquest. Mention in the particular anecdote that you are sharing, how attractive this girl was/is. Mention casually how all your friends thought she was hot, or how when she walked into a ‘club like this’ every guy would check her out. This will create a picture in her head of you hanging with hot girls (pre-selection), and plus on top of that, she will be comparing herself to these women. She will start wanting to prove to you that she is just as attractive and that your friends will think she’s just as attractive too. This provokes just the right amount of jealousy and healthy competition
This is also a perfect way to remind the girl that you are a ‘sexual creature’ and not some kind of a monk that she thinks she can just be friends with! It's very common for men to get into the dreaded friend's zone and never get out! This should be nipped in the bud as soon as comfort has been made in the interaction, and the best way to do this (Before making your actual move) is to do the above suggestions that I have given you that will convey the fact you are sexual without actually being verbally sexual TOWARDS her.
7. Perfect your body language!
I am a big fan of behavioral therapy, and this is something that I have used to help my students combat approach anxiety as well as creating an immediate positive impact when meeting a woman.
If you are feeling nervous when going to approach a woman, then hanging your shoulders in a stooped like manner and your beer bottle held up to your chest and an apologetic voice and facial expression will only serve to fuel those insecure thoughts you are having.
Always present the body language of someone who owns the club or bar that you are in. How would the owner stand? How would he sit? How would he say hello to someone who was in HIS establishment?
Once you adopt this ideal body language you will find that your initial fears seem to evaporate faster than you might have expected. This of course is all thanks to the behavior therapy process. By altering your actions you will alter your mindset, literally meaning ‘YOUR ACTIONS SHAPE YOUR BELIEFS”.
You cannot continue to be shy and scared for too long if your body is portraying that of a strong and confident person.
8. Do cold readings!
Cold readings and making detailed assumptions about the woman always make an impact!
Women love to be psychoanalyzed, it's something we derive great pleasure from. Whilst men hate having a torchlight shone inside them, and usually resist opening up, we women love it!
We value a man who can see past our bravados/masks and/or alter egos. It presents to us a great sense of relief as well as the development of sincere respect for the man.
(A woman must respect a man before she can be attracted to him)
Keep your cold readings detailed! There is nothing worse than a guy giving us some random and vague assumption about our selves such as:
- “I reckon you’re a really fun person” or
- “You seem to be a really nice person”
If you use a vague assumption like these examples, then all you will get in return is a vague response.
Keep the assumption/cold reading DETAILED. Make it tailor-made for her! She will respond so much better this way.
“But what if I’m wrong???” I hear you ask! The answer is simple.
Reply with the “response of intrigue”
“Really? That’s interesting, tell me more”
What this does, is it shows her that you are now intrigued to find out more about this side of her that you did not realize existed.
In return, she will give you a lot of information about herself because your assumption was so detailed!
Here are some useful cold reading lines, which will give you an outline of what you can create your self:
“I reckon you were seriously naughty at school, but not like the class clown kind of naughty, but more like the instigator behind the class clown, very sneaky”
“ I bet you were spoilt as a child but rebelled none the less just for the sake of rebelling”
“ You seem to be someone who knows what they want and knows how to get it, but at times you get a bit lazy and put that ambition to the side”
“To me, you seem like a woman who has a lot of male friends and only a few close female friends, because in the past women have let you down or been backstabbers”
Like I said, even if they are way off the mark, she will respond by telling you HOW/WHO SHE REALLY IS, and as a result, she will be supplying you with a wealth of information about herself without you asking a single question!
9. Kiss her on the forehead.
Funny enough, the innocent (or not so innocent) kiss on the forehead has a special power that affects women a lot.
Most guys will try to kiss her on the cheek or the lips too soon or they will avoid kissing her altogether.
She does not expect a man to kiss her on her forehead! The only men that do that to her are her father or her boyfriends.
She will not push you away or move from you when you do this, as it something so unexpected and so pure, that she will not have time to react straight away. Instead, she will start to wonder whether you like her in a ’friend’ way or a ‘sexual way’ and this will result in leaving her in an emotional and psychological state of limbo (which is a GOOD position to have her in)
Women always like it when guys do the forehead kiss, it makes them feel protected and loved, and strangely enough, it leaves them wanting more of a kiss of a different nature.
Use some verbal role-play.
If anyone comes along and joins you and the girl you are talking to, introduce yourself as her ex-husband. Add a little role-play by saying you are currently discussing who gets to keep the kids and who gets to keep the dog etc. Women nearly always respond by giggling and playing along with it.
This always breaks that uncomfortable moment when she has to introduce you to her friends. Rather than have her forget your name or say “this is erm. John who I just erm met..”
If one of your friends joins, then introduce the girl as your mother in law or something humorous.
Role-play is a light yet effective way of adding the ‘fun’ element into the interaction.
You can also transition the ‘playful role-play into one of a more sexual nature later on, and because she had complied with the playful role play, the more ‘sexual’ role-play that you will introduce into the interaction will NOT come off as weird or creepy.
Most men do not use role-play in their interactions with women, because either they do not know how to do it or they are not actually aware of how much impact it can make.
NOTE: When doing role-play, you must be bold with it! Otherwise, if you’re nervous or unsure it will backfire!
No one likes a ‘head nodder’!
Head nodders make ZERO IMPACT!
There are plenty of ways to challenge the woman such as:
- Strong opinions
- Challenging her playfully
- Challenging her intellectually
- Playing devil's advocate
Men believe that if they agree with everything the girl says, and nod their head like good little boys, then they will magically be given access to her bed. WRONG!
DO NOT BEND YOUR OWN REALITY IN ACCORDANCE WITH HERS!
Women can smell this a mile off, and it actually works AGAINST the man's chances.
A lot of men hold on to the ‘false belief’ that a woman will NOT sleep with him because or at least partly because he did not like her favorite movie or did not share her political views or he did not share the same passion for her favorite holiday destination.
Out of all the women I know, NEVER once have any of them said they did not go back home with a man because he didn’t agree with her about things, or that he had his own mind, his own likes, and dislikes!
Sounds obvious right? But ask yourself how many times you have found your self- bending your own reality in accordance with a woman that you are chatting up? How many times have you caught yourself agreeing with her (even though you didn’t really) and nodding your head and replying with vague responses such as “cool” “nice” etc?
And then you left confused when she tells you she just wants to be friends, or she picks one of the 34 well-practiced excuses that we girls use when we want to reject a man's advances.
Women want mental stimulation NOT A PEOPLE PLEASER!
So why do men resist challenging a woman?
2 answers to this question.
The first answer we have touched on already. Because men have a false belief that women will be attracted to them more if they comply and agree.
The second reason is, that a man is worried that the challenge (whether playful or semi-serious) might escalate into a full blown argument, and if this happens then he feels that this consequence will seriously damage his chances of building any type of attraction with the woman.
Here I am going to share with you an invaluable technique called the ‘diffusion technique’ This technique will not only diffuse any argument that might occur, but it will also make that argument work for you! Literally turning a potential negative into a powerful positive will show you how to take that ‘energy’ from the heated argument and manipulate it into sexual energy!
The diffusion technique:
If the challenge results in a bit of a heated debate, pinpoint the exact moment you can see the debate becoming an argument or the point where it becomes personal. At that exact point, rather than back down or try and change the subject.
Smile, and say “stop” Keep smiling, hold her gaze, and then continue with..
“I and you are never going to agree on this right?”
She will say “right” (in a defiant manner)
“In fact, I and you can sit here arguing about this for 2 weeks and we will still not agree right?”
She will again respond with “right”
“But you know something..I love that”
This is the point where you will begin to hook her in
“Don’t you just hate it when people agree for the sake of agreeing? You’re like me, you stick to what you believe in no matter what. I like that”
This is the point where she will look down and look back up and smile and respond with
“Yes. It's true”
Here you would have diffused the situation and at the same time, you are conveying the message that although you both might disagree on the surface, you both CONNECT on a much deeper level. You are both strong-minded people, you are both people who stick to what you believe in.
There is something that I learned from a natural recently. He told me that whenever he and his ‘current’ girlfriends argue, he stops her and laughs and then says something very similar to the ‘diffusion technique’
He will stop her mid- shouting at each other and say:
“Stop, you know what the problem is here? You are the female version of me and I’m the male version of you”
He said this line always seemed to take that ‘heated’ energy into the bedroom.
Don’t be afraid of energy, just learn how to mold that energy into sexual energy is the message here.
Remember, challenging a woman will NOT decrease your chances of success, ESPECIALLY if you know how to deliver the ‘diffusion technique’ if things get too heated.