While porn can be a great way to add sizzle to your sex life, there are plenty of other helpful items that can make things fresh and exciting in the bedroom. You can enhance your sexual experience with special foods, toys, adult gadgets, props, and more. Really, just about anything can be used as a bedroom aid if you have enough imagination (and, in some cases, adventurousness). In fact, it can be fun to take something innocent or unusual and try to End an erotic use for it. Experiment and be creative!
The Power of Aphrodisiacs
An aphrodisiac is a substance (generally, a food or drink) that you use to enhance pleasure or susceptibility to pleasure. The list of possible aphrodisiacs is probably endless, since everyone's tastes are different. Plus, a substance can have aphrodisiac effects if it reminds someone of an enjoyable experience. Many people become amused when exposed to certain foods, odors, or environments that their brain associates with sex. Sensual foods have a definite place in the bedroom. They are especially welcome if they are juicy, soft, mysterious, and sweet If the foods are evocative reminders of sexual organs, them's even more reason to include them as part of your lovemaking ritual. You can have lots of fun with food in the bedroom. Food can be used for stimulating the various senses. Try an evening of lovemaking that involves blindfolding your partner and offering her different sorts of fruits, chocolates, and desserts that are suggestive of softness or juiciness. This is more about sensing than it is about eating. Keep the bites very small and offer the food gently for smelling and brushing across the lips first, before letting your partner take the bite into her mouth. Whipped cream and chocolate syrup are fun (though messy!) in the bedroom, but allowing these types of substances to dry and remain on the skin — or in/near bodily openings — can cause all sorts of problems. A good solution: enjoy a shower together after a food-enhanced sexual romp.
Some of the most well-publicized aphrodisiacs in ancient times were rhinoceros horn, elk antler, and powdered seahorse. There is little evidence that these substances actually work, however, and serious damage is being done to the environment today by people who want to obtain these aphrodisiacs.
Some substances that are commonly believed to have aphrodisiac qualities are oysters, chocolate, and wine. Certain spices and plants are also said to be aphrodisiacs. While the stereotypical aphrodisiacs may indeed have an erotic effect on you, it can be fun to try to find new and unusual alternatives. Try lots of different foods, and you just may discover some exciting new arousal boosters.
Pheromones: The Chemicals of Love
Pheromones are chemicals found in body secretions that attract the opposite sex. They don't have a discernible smell, but humans have special detectors in their noses for pheromones. We respond physiologically to another person pheromones, even if we cannot consciously smell them.
Pheromones are available for purchase; you can add them to your favorite perfume or dab them on separately. The jury is out on their effectiveness, since there haven't been many studies done with manufactured pheromones, but they aren't too expensive, so try some out for yourself.
The word pheromone is derived from a Greek word meaning "to transfer excitement " Body temperature, skin conductance, heart rate, and blood pressure are just some of the functions that can be affected by our reactions to our partner 's pheromones. (Women taking oral contraceptives seem to be less responsive to pheromones.) Pheromones have also been isolated as the cause for synchronized menstruation cycles among women who live in close proximity over a period of time. Male and female pheromones are excreted from glands in the hair follicles, the underarms, and the groin area. Some men and women are greatly attracted to the smell of their partners' underarms and hair. Try burying your nose in your partner 's hair the next time you want to become aroused.
Scents and Perfumes
Scents and perfumes have been used since time immemorial, possibly to mimic pheromones. One of the most popular is musk, which has a smell very close to the male hormone testosterone. The Romans used civet and ambergris as the carriers for lavish perfumes that were erotic in nature. Vanilla, lavender and flower essences have been used for thousands of years to add allure to our bodily scents. Many of the tropical forests in Hawaii were cut down in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries for the delicate, earthy scent of sandalwood. The finest European fans for aristocratic women were made from sandalwood. This wood never loses its scent, so it served as a perfume when a woman seductively fanned herself.
When choosing a perfume, pick something that isn't too overbearing. It should complement the subtle scent of your own skin, hair, and pheromones. fly going without perfume sometimes, especially before a night of lovemaking. This way, it won't cover up your own natural erotic smells. People have long used incense to set the scene for romance. Again, pick something that is appropriate and not overbearing. You might want to place it in an adjacent room like a bathroom so that the hint of it reaches you; you wouldn't want to be distracted by the full strength of the incense. You can also freshen a room by lighting incense and then putting it out quickly to give just a hint of the scent. By visiting an aromatherapy store, you can mfr your own unique blend of oils and substances, thus creating a scent that is completely custom tailored to your own tastes. You may want to save this for special occasions, or perhaps to use as a secret signal (dab it on when you want your partner to know you're in the mood for love). Just as with aphrodisiacs, scents can be a matter of personal tastes and preferences. One person may find a scent exciting, but it might be a turn-off for someone else. Don't worry if you get excited by an unusual scent (say peanut butter or the smell of a new car). You're just unique!
Gels, Creams, and Lotions
Gels, creams, and lotions have become increasingly popular as sexual enhancers. This is partly because there are so many new and exciting varieties. You can choose from flavored and'or scented substances, varieties that warm up when exposed to body heat or friction, and even ones that claim to have extra arousal-stimulating ingredients. These substances also have a practical benefit their lubricating properties make some sex acts more comfortable or pleasurable.
Pay attention to the ingredients in your lotions of gels, especially if you are allergy prone and tend to have a negative reaction to certain chemicals, flavors, or scents. You must also remember that petroleum-based substances can be detrimental to condoms and other protective materials.
Massage oils and lotions can be great for a sensual massage, but they arent designed to go inside the body (unless they are specifically labeled that way). Check if the lubricant you are selecting has nonoryno1-9 in it. This additive is a spermicide, meaning it kills sperm. If you do not need the protection for pregnancy prevention, it is recommended you dont use these products. It can be irritating or cause an allergic reaction.
- Heightening Creams
There are many new creams on the market that are designed with women in mind. Like Viagra does for men, these products are supposed to help with the physical aspects of sexual dysfunction that some women have in achieving orgasmic states.
In the first clinical trials that gave Viagra to women, fewer than 45 percent of the women had any positive response. A separate group determined that if the women were first screened for psychological problems and those subjects were removed, the remaining group of women who exhibited physical symptoms had a success rate of more than 90 percent.
The general function of these creams is to increase blood flow to the genitals. Blood flow causes the engorgement and arousal of the genital region. Many of these creams are based on the absorption of L-arginine into the blood supply in the immediate area of the genitals. L-arginine increases the nitric oxide available to the tissue, which in turn expands the blood vessels and allows more blood to flow to the region. The creams that are currently on the market have varying degrees of success. This is a new area in the understanding of sexual response, and it is in its infancy We can expect more of these products to be available in the coming years.
Lovemaking and Food
It's often been said that food is the way to a man's heart. nu, that can have a lot of different implications. Healthy eating is of course the optimum for all of us. But certain foods can have a positive effect on the libido. Before we go on to examine what foods are compatible with the act of making love, a word of warning. Overeating before an evening of lovemaking can have a less-than-beneficial effect — both on the libido and on performance. Have you ever eaten a line meal and then had to go back to work and engage your brain for some critical thinking? The brain will often fail you in these times because the body has sent a lot of the blood supply to the stomach to aid in digestion. When we eat a meal, the blood flows away from the brain, away from the extremities, and away from the genitals.
Essential Make a short list of edible items you know increase your desire and libido. Share this list with your lover and ask her to do the same. Notice the things that are the same and the ones that are different.
- Time for Food, Time for Love
If you are planning an evening of lovemaking that includes food, mate eating a part of the ritual or ceremony of loving. That way, you can include eating in the sensual evening without stopping the action. Eating can be a fun addition. You can feed each other. Eat in courses so that eating takes a long time and is spread out between the courses of love. Serving things like sushi, light pastas, small skewers of vegetables and fish, or a salad with many goodies in it. Then dessert could come later Maybe you present dessert on your inner thighs or you offer your partner the opportunity to become the platter. Find unique and fun ways to surprise yourself and your lover.
- Suggestive Shapes
Try forming foods into shapes that are suggestive or downright sexual — you can use chocolates, little cakes, oysters, candies, breads, and main dishes. Your imagination can take you anywhere. Soak dried fruit in wine or liquors to enhance their flavor. Use fresh and dried fruit to dip into sauces that are sweetened and have a yogurt base. Dip fresh fruit into chocolate or butterscotch sauces. Raspberry sauce, whipped cream, and even ice cream can be used in erotic ways to enhance an evening of love.
- Spice Up Your
Life Some spices, seasonings, and foods with certain amino acids are good for getting the heat to rise. Adding a variety of spices to your food concoctions can have a wonderful effect of heightening arousal. Pumpkin pie spices, licorice, cinnamon, peppermint, curries, coriander, cardamom, lavender, chili peppers, sesame seeds, saffron, nutmeg, and pepper — all these are believed to intensify sexual desire. They are generally also very good for your health and vitality. Ginger, onions, and garlic are also considered aphrodisiacs by many cultures, as are asparagus, figs, grapes, almonds, oysters, mussels, calla; basil, bananas, and mangos —the list goes on. Remember, anything can be erotic, and different people find different foods erotic. With this in mind, be sure to create foods that appeal to both you and your lover. It's fun creating and discovering new things together, and the time spent attending to the details will be well worth it.
- Chocolate Temptation
One of the active ingredients in chocolate produces phenylethylamine, the chemical that the body manufactures when we fall in love. These chemical messengers speed up the flow of information that travels between our nerve endings. Phenylethylamine is similar in many ways to amphetamine, which dilates the blood vessels and creates energy and focus. It is not by chance that chocolate is so highly associated with love.
The Aztec emperor Montezuma was reported to have drunk up to fifty cups a day of chocolate with chili and spices in it. He had to keep up his stamina to satisfy his many wives! Some women crave chocolate as their hormonal balance shifts. Their subconscious thinks of it as a remedy to lift spirits and provide energy.
- In Drunken Bliss
Used in moderation, alcohol can enhance the sensual or sexual experience. It can relax you and ease your inhibitions. In small amounts, it has been cited as an aid in helping men last longer so they don't ejaculate too fast. However, be aware that in larger amounts, it has the opposite effect. Try using it in a ritual way by creating a ceremony when you drink it. Sip it during lovemaking. Share a kiss with a little liquor in your mouth and let it dribble down your cheeks. Take some liquor into your mouth and then give your partner oral sex while you still have it in your mouth. Throw in the element of surprise. This can add new sensations to both your experiences. It can be licked and sucked off if any gets away from you!
Erotic Reading and Writing
Reading erotic materials to your partner can be exquisitely sensuous. As you read, you can place your own intention and inflection on the sentences you want to emphasize. You can even act out some of the parts and discuss or fantasize about what you are reading together. Pillow books are books that have pictures, writing, and sometimes instructions — like position books. These provide a great resource for erotic adventure. There are several ancient erotic pillow books that not only brought pleasure, but also helped educate people over many generations. These books are available today in modern forms and are informative, evocative, and titillating.
If you are inclined to write a love letter but feel intimidated, ask for help at the bookstore. Purchase a book of poetry by Rumi or another love poet and generously sprinkle some of their words in your letter. It'll turn your partner on in more than one way!
Writing poetry has long been a symbol of both romantic and erotic love. Even writers of little skill can successfully write poetry to their lover that will be received as though it came from a master. The gift of writing is a gift of time, cam, and love. Read and write poetry together. Try writing one poem together and see what you come up with.
Even if poetry is not something that turns you on, consider stretching yourself a little if it is something you think your lover would like. In addition, write little love notes that point to the anticipation of a particular erotic event that you have planned. Leading up to a date with notes and love letters is an outrageous way to create titillating tension. By the time you get together you'll be all over each other!
- Words of Love and Lust
For both men and women, words can be powerful erotic stimulators. In general, men will prefer lusty, teasing, more explicitly sexual language. Women tend to respond to more indirect language — hints, words of love and desire, and compliments. Regardless of what you like, the idea is to start the erotic play before you get to the bedroom. The longer we are juiced up, the stronger our reactions will be when we get there. Don't hesitate to use words liberally when making love and make sounds to let your partner know how you are feeling. Here's an activity to by It has several different variations. You may want to create new additional versions that are appropriate for times other than when you are making love. Sit facing each other when you do these, and take turns.
- Give each other the gift of one minute of compliments. Just say loving, complimentary words and phrases as they come to your mind. Don't think too much —just let them flow.
- Each of you takes one minute to say as many erotic, hot, sexy words as you can come up with. Don't censor your words — just let them out.
- In one minute, say words of compassion, cam, and sympathy as they come to your mind. Use this one when one or both of you are experiencing hurt or vulnerability.
- Use words of gratitude and thanks for one minute each. This practice helps us remember to speak about how precious our lives am. Use this one generously!
- Make up your own version with themes that fit your life.
Between the Sheets
There are a lot of toys and other sexual aids that can be very useful during sex. If you haven? tried some of these products, talk with your partner about purchasing the ones that intrigue the two of you. If you we single, you're slaw to find something on this list that titillates you.
Vibrators are excellent for women who need help learning to orgasm. If a woman has been frustrated with her capacity to have orgasms, using a vibrator can open the door to that experience. Start with a small one designed for clitoral stimulation.
Some women like vibrators, while others prefer dildos, which we used inside the vagina. You can also purchase a vibrating dildo. You may need to explore a few to discover what works for you. Each type has a specific purpose. If you have a portner, talk to him about going to an adult store to look over the selection. Be sensitive to your lover 's feelings about this. He may have feelings of inadequacy at not being the lover you want him to be. Reassure him that you only want to add to the repertoire of your adventures in bed. Vibrators do have a downside — they can be addictive and desensitizing. Your lover may find that you we having a harder time reaching orgasm when he is giving you oral stimulation, if you have been using the vibrator a lot. Pay attention and modify its use if this seems to be a problem. Vibrators can be great to use during intercourse to stimulate the woman's clitoris. Either partner can hold it and add to the pleasure. Men may have an interest in some of the sensations a vibrator has to offer. Try the small clitoral vibrators on the perineum during intercourse or while giving him oral sex. This is healthy stimulation and exercise for the prostate gland, too. It may stimulate more sexual excitement or may defocus the intensity, which helps to delay orgasm and ejaculation in men.
Dildos come in all shapes, sizes, materials, and forms. Them are combinations for stimulating the clitoris and for insertion into the vagina; them we ones just for the vagina; them we anal plugs for anal stimulation; and them are combinations for vagina and anus. Some will be battery-operated vibrators, and some will be without vibration. And in each of these categories them we literally hundreds of varieties. Them are so many options to choose from. Go to a well-equipped website or adult store when you make your fast purchases. Websites are great to browse and order from because they offer privacy and ease.
- Condoms and Gloves
Condoms, gloves, and other latex products can be fun to use, even for committed, monogamous couples who are free of sexually transmitted diseases. Even if you we in a long-term relationship and can safely have unprotected sex, by using a condom once in a while. They may fit into sexual fantasies for you or just be fun to by. The same goes for gloves. The use of latex gloves adds a fantasy dimension to lovemaking and they work very well for anal stimulation for both men and women. They can take the edge off trying these things if you are new to this kind of sexual exploring.